Girls only!

For girls only!
if you are a girl read on for more!









Fairly recently for the first time ever at the age of twenty-four I have entered the worldo of dating. I have had some dates but never a steady boyfriend. I have also never kissed anyone (unless you count Edie Sweetnitch in gradeschool. And yes. I am not sure of the spelling but that was his last name!LOL Josh has only been a christian for two years. I am by far by no means a spiritual giant. We do, however, approach some things in life very differently and have had very varied experiences with the opposite.

Now, have you ever said something to the oposite sex and have second thoughts about it but you can't exactly take it back? Well, this week, I blurted out to Josh that I love him. But now I question if I used the right words at the wrong time in our relationship. It was at first hard for Josh to accept the idea that I might not kiss him ever, untill if the Lord should bring it about, that we should get married. It seems obsurd to some people but the more I read the more I believe it is the right choice for me. But I think to Josh, if I love him that means certain things. I worry that he is too concerned about just what we can do physicaly while I'm more concerned about what we shouldn't do. He way desires a level of physical intimacy, (lots of cuddling, lots holding hands, even putting his hand on my knee while trying to drive.) that sometimes is over the top for me. Which led me to wonder, is something wrong with me? If I love him, shouldn't I want to do atleast do some of things that a man and women would who care about each other do physically? Just where do you draw the line? I am holding fast to my ideal to not kiss man unless I am going to marry him. Its just something most young men don't understand. I believe that is the obedience the Lord has aske of me.

But why oh why did i hafta go and say I love him? Now Josh has told me feels that I am an answer to his pra yer. Wow. No pressure there, hu? Trying to be the answer to someones prayers is not an easy task. One of the difficult things in this relationship is that we don't know some of the same people. We have become kind of isolated but I think Josh recognized that because when we go bowling tomorrow its not just going to be me and him its also going to be I think his aunt and uncle and I think one other person. I think we do need to try and do more group activities. Just please, please pray for us. I did not use wisdome or discernment in what I said and I wish we had a mutual friend that if i ever had to have a seriousnes talk with him that that person could accompany and kind of be a mediator and a witness of what went on and what was said. We need accoutability and we need communion.