GRRR

I guess you could say I'm feeling pretty down right now. I need to rant for second. Despite everyone praying for me it looks like i am letting God and everyone else down. Its probably a good thing I diddn't get to share my testimony or whatever on a Wednesday night. I haven't earned a right to do that. The first two days went well but it seems I've managed to (parden the expression) make a big donkeys behind of myself. Its time like this im ashamed to call myself a Christian. I hate the pressure to be perfect. I hate the fact that I can never afford to be human and screw up every once in awhile. Never mind the fact that even none-christians seem to experience more success in everyday life and favor with people than I do. I am an unremarkable Chrstian; a thing far worse than being an unbeliever. Unbelieves put my relationship with Christ to shame because it seems like they have all their ducks in a row and I can't even walk and chew gum at the same time. What is wrong with me????
evie